Logan Lerman And ‘Oh, Hi!’ Director Sophie Brooks Discuss Their New Rom Com And The Modern Dating World

Molly Gordon and Logan Lerman try to figure out their situationship in Oh, Hi!, directed by Sophie Brooks and now out in theaters.

Molly Gordon and Logan Lerman in “Oh, Hi!”

Sony Classics

Iris and Isaac spend their first weekend getaway together, a big step in their relationship. But what is exactly this relationship? After a romantic dinner, Iris and Isaac go up to their rooms and decide to use a pair of handcuffs they found in a BDSM closet in the house. But their evening together goes awry when Isaac reveals that he didn’t think they were exclusive. Iris is obviously shocked and, in a crazy turn of events, she decides to keep Isaac tied to the bed to show him how great they could be together.

During our interview, Brooks said, “I think there’s a scene where the first miscommunication happens and I think in their mind, they’re both right. Isaac really believes that they had an agreement and that they weren’t fully exclusive and Iris believes they were exclusives. Having this kind of miscommunication that happens so often in early dating and long-term dating too, but especially in early dating, when you want to present your best self and you don’t want to come across as needy or too much or uncool. That’s kinda when this messiness happens. So I hope the takeaway is that you have to be a little brave and yourself and, if you’re not someone’s cup of tea, you shouldn’t try and convince them to be with you.”

I also asked Logan Lerman about his reaction when he first read the script and if his opinion about his character had changed after that.

He said, “My jaw was on the ground, I was in shock but I also felt an understanding of the situation. I’ve been an Iris before, when I was dating in the past and I’ve experienced that kind of person, when Isaac’s like, ‘I don’t see it the same way that you do’, this situationship, whatever people call it nowadays. I was completely captivated by the scene, but I saw the truth in it because I related to Iris a bit more than I did Isaac.”

He added: ‘’I usually stay away from too much information when I’m exploring a new project. I just like to get the script and read it with fresh eyes, and experience it as I would experience it as an audience member if I’m imagining watching it in a theatre. So that was really surprising the turn that it takes, with the first 10 minutes of the movie or so. That’s really what grabbed me too, the conflict there, the idea that Iris is going to keep Isaac tied to the bed and show him how great she is. It got me, it was really interesting to explore as an actor but also something to watch on screen.”

During their argument, Isaac keeps telling Iris to “calm down” and calls her “crazy”, and in this situation, we might wonder if he’s gaslighting her. Iris also makes a joke that she would have to kill him if she ever let him go, but Isaac doesn’t know if she is serious or not.

On his understanding of his character during that pivotal scene, Lerman said, “That’s interesting that you mention that. Figuring out that moment was a tricky beat to navigate, one of the conversations that Sophie and I were constantly having was ‘What is Isaac thinking at that moment?’ And ‘Does he really think that he’s in danger ?’ I definietely lean towards the idea that he’s unsure if Iris might actually snap and keep him there forever, or kill him, whatever it is. So I definitely lean more on that side for the movie’s sake at least. It was an interesting moment to navigate because they are two people who are really disconnected with what’s happening, you know.”

I also talked to Brooks about Iris’ joke and Isaac’s reaction to it. She said, “She never actually would have stabbed him, but that idea of crimes of passion, it was something I wanted to put in the story because I think it’s quite relatable to get your heart broken or get rejected and have a reaction that you’re surprised by. The extreme of that is murder, so we’re not encouraging that! But it’s about feeling an urge or feeling something so out of character. We think we know ourselves but the reality is we’re all capable of things, we’re not all capable of murder of course but, saying things we don’t mean in a heated moment with a lover.”

She added: “I think this movie is toying with a specific line in terms of tone and who you’re rooting for and who you sympathize with and, that scene really sets up the rest of the movie. It was very important to me that the audience believed that Isaac felt in danger and also believed that Iris was kind of riled up by the night and didn’t actually intend to hurt him.”

For Brooks, the use of language that is triggering to Iris and women in general, is also because Iris “is quite heated up in that moment, so Isaac’s commenting on things that he’s not wrong about, but he’s also the person making her crazy.”

She added: “I don’t think he means to gaslight her, I think he really likes her but doesn’t know how to be in relationships which is something I observed in this modern dating, heterosexual world and gender dynamics where, there seems to be this very interesting set up where a woman wanting love is suddenly desperate and demanding too much and we’re supposed to play it cool, but everybody wants love or connection. The fact that Iris is saying what she wants is brave.”

Lerman also reflected on the dating world and the difficulties that might come with it, “Early on dating is so interesting, like it’s such a tight rope walk of emotions, generally speaking people are fairly guarded, they don’t really reveal themselves fully or discuss label or anything like that, because they’re afraid of pushing people away if they get serious. It’s a strange thing I was never really good at that, the game or playing games as they say. I was never that person.”

After Isaac’s revelations, Iris starts looking for answers on the internet, which drives her to follow a list of steps to keep one’s partner.

Brooks said, “That kind of doomscrolling can get so out of hand so quickly, and it can be crazy-making, when you’re desperate and in a moment of crisis. You’re reaching for answers, wherever you can find them and, we have access to million of opinions. I included this scene because I wanted to heightened her anxiety and feed into that neurosis she’s having in that moment. The modern dating landscape is so influenced by the internet, by apps, by online dating and the idea that there’s always something better out there. It made a lot of people undervalue connection.”

She added: “I think it’s amazing to have two characters who meet on Tinder, I’m certainly not against dating apps, I have a many friends who met their spouses there. But I do think the culture of swiping and there always being something better is not the healthiest for our lives, personally.”

In 2012, Lerman played Charlie in The Perks of Being a Wallflower which instantly became a staple for coming-of-age movies, as it deals with trauma, adolescence and self-acceptance. When Charlie asks his professor why good people only choose the wrong people to love them, and he answers, “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

Seeing how much Iris was trying to convince Isaac to stay with her when he obviously didn’t want her to be his girlfriend, I wondered if this quote could apply to Iris. I also asked Lerman about the relevance of this powerful sentence in the modern dating world.

He said, “Interesting connection and interesting question. That line is incredible, Stephen Chbosky is just a genius, and it’s so true that line from Perks. In this situation I think it’s a little more nuanced, because I think that Iris was receiving a lot of the love, you know what I mean? He was love bombing her, made her feel very loved. I don’t think she was accepting anything else, except when she realized that they’re weren’t exactly official. She tried to show him what was so special about them, which I get but I don’t think that’s settling for anything, it’s trying to shake some sense into that person. Because I also think that Isaac really loved Iris too, I think he really cared, he just had a block and was dealing with his own issues. But it’s interesting though and that quote is so good from the movie, I’m lucky to having been a part of that.”

Between Materialists directed by Celine Song and Oh, Hi, the modern dating world is definitely under the lens of filmmakers this year. I asked Lerman if this is a topic that we needed more than ever nowadays. He said, “Definitely, I need them, I wanna see them.”

He added: “They’re so important, there’s so much to explore in every decade. Examining our dynamics, where we are in life, all the elements that make it unique to now. It’s not only important to have it and view it in movies like this, but also just to explore ourselves through movies and TV shows. There’s so much to cover that’s new, how the current time affect our relationships and the way that we seek relationships and connection. Every generation is so different and we need those voices and those movies to be made just to explore what we’re going through and what we’re thinking about.”